ME

it's easy to get a friend
it's easy to get a listener
it's easy to talk to someone
but
it's difficult to tell someone your true thought
it's diffidult to tell someone your true feeling
it's difficult to find a real friend that you don have to care of anything else
when you are talking to them
it's difficult to disclose yourself
it's difficult
it's really difficult and complicated

who can i talk to?
who will listen to me?
who will not judge me based on what i said?
who will just lend me her/his ear and listen to me quitely?
i'm setting up a wall for myself
i'm closing the friend's border
i'm searching for someone that i won't be afraid of
i'm looking for the one that i'm familiar of

where are you?
where are you,my friend?
where are you,the naive me?
where are you the true me?
where are you the happy me?
where are you the talkative me?

Please come back
Please come back to me
Please come back to me and make me happy
Please make me happy like i used to be

i will worship you all of my life and i will serve you forever

i just saw my last semester result and out of my expectation i scored pretty good....and i know i can't do it without HIS help......HE is the LORD..the only true lord......i will worship HIM and HIS name be remember till eternity.....


this can be consider as a good news for me after being depresse for so many weeks.After all those bad news that i heard along this sem break,the news of baby dying because of contaminated milk,sick infant that have to be warded as a result of the tainted milk and the world economy and the reality that i have to go back to kl again.I know that i maybe unhappy after going back to kl but i believe that GOD will continue to look after me and give me strength and i know that GOD will give me a chance to serve HIM and HE will make sure that devil will stay away from me and HE will send his angels to care for me and share my life together.

i curse you melamine.....

Melamine, o melamine
you were the main dish for children
as you are the main chemical that formed most of the dairy products in the market
but you were wrongly used by those stupid human
those stupid human that was covered by money
stink and evil money that had taken away the wonderful future of the infants
stupid and stink money that causes everyone has to be aware of what they are consuming
headless china guy,
you know that you can only have one child
but now you are destroying their future by letting them to drink milk
headless china ppl
you'd ruined the life of your own future
you'd contaminated your food with malamine
you'd even destroy your own image
you'd put poison into your own country economy
you'd make everyone suffer because of your own good
i curse you curse your future and your name shall be curse forever by other

P/s:victims of melamine should stand up together and UN should take action against them for the good of the ppl that still need the nutrient from dairy products.....

helo...good morning

it's 4:58am now and i'm awake.i don know why i'm awake i need someone to tell me the reason.is it because i'm too happy because i'm going back today?is it because i'm too stress because i'm having the last paper today?is it because i'd enough sleep?is it because the light is still on and that the reason that i woke up.i just couldn't find out the reason but i think that i still need to sleep.actually i didn't sleep well although slept.i hope that i won't fall asleep during exam time,at laest laet me finish my paper before i sleep.
well,happy holiday guys!enjoy your holiday and remember to come back during next semester.

the dream that have to wait to become true

i was sleeping few minutes ago and had a dream.i don't know i should consider the dream as a nice dream or a nightmare,but i think it's a nice and beautiful dream.i dream that i was at my lovely home drinking the chicken soup cooked by my mother and my sister was telling me that she's glad i'm home and she misses me very very much.I woke up and found out that it's just a dream.i'm still in pj where food are super duper digusting and i have no one beside and arround me.it's just a dream that is waitng for realization.i immediately call my mum and told her the dream( i always look for my mum when i have dream no matter it's a nice dream or nightmare)
chicken soup and my sister wait for me, i'm going back this thursday.

i'll stop writing here,have to go and get some food and have to start studying as soon as i finish my dinner.gotta go....bye bye.....may god bless all the blog readers and my 'enemy'(the one that seems to be so near to me but annoying)

灭亡？从头开始？

我彻底的失望了，为什么人类还不醒觉这世界就要消失了吗？祖先留下来的文化也会随着消失也代表着人类也会消失了。你难道忍心看着你的孩子也跟着消失吗？你有什么权力夺走他们的未来？我的心开始冷了，也开始发现原来单靠我一个人的力量并不能改变世界。我希望伟大的造物者，伟大的真神恳求您别收回这个世界，恳求您为了千千万万个刚出生天真无邪的孩子们，请再给我们一次机会。我们答应您我们会做得更好，哪怕这世界上只剩下一个好人，也恳求阿爸天父祝福他的后代赐给他后代的愿与当年赐给大卫王的如此丰盛。恳求您继续的赐福于这片土地因为并非所有的良心都被金钱覆盖。恳求阿爸天父聆听我们的祷告，赦免我们因无知而反下的过错。阿门。

I have a feeling that the world is dying and men will dissapeared from this earth just like how dinosours dissapreared from this land.They dissapeared because they do not have enough food but men will dissapeared because the pollution that they made.The ice is melting,the temperature is rising,the heart is covering by black spirit,the love is replacing by material.My alone i can't do anything,i need your help.Tell your friends about the problems that we are facing,tell them to stop polluting,tell them to stop smoking,tell them to tell their friends what they heard from you."perpaduan teras kejayaan".Don make us dissapear from this beautiful land,think about your family that love you,think about your future children,think about the places that you haven't visit before,think of your own life do you wan to become breathless and be like those ppl in the movie 'wall.e'?Or do you want the earth to be like the earth in the movie 'ice age'?think of the moral lesson that you can get from this type of movie.think of future,think of your family,think of yourself.pls leave a comment to show that you also love the earth and you care for 'him'.

'those for tears'

i found a very nice book in pc library and found that actually it helps me a lot at this moment.before this i used to ask myself did LORD abandoned me,did HE forget about me,is he going to just leave me here and etc.after reading the book and relate it to my dailr life i'm sure to say that the GOD is still with me and HE is listening to my prayers.i know that HE is there when i'm weak and HE's there when i'm sad and i know HE's there when i needed help from HIM.i do believe that GOD will make a way when it seems to be no way.the book also teaches me that keep praying and HE is the GOD that listen and will fulfill our wishes in HIS very own way.just like today,HE let me found that book when i was feeling miserable.i was touched by the words inside that book as those words are the answer to the question that i have in my head.all my questions are answered and i learned sth precious today.GOD really watched us everyday every moment and HE had never change his love from the past till the future.just like what the book said 'GOD does care about me,when i was walking the rain stop and when i was in the car the rain just fall immediately from the sky' 'i can feel that JESUS is beteween us as HE keep me away from communist,japanese and the hard times'.all this happened to me,rain stopped when i'm in a hurry,the robbers just let mego without hurting me and didn take away my valuable property,GOD take care of me and give me a safe journey when i'm going back to ipoh,GOD heal me when i'm sick,GOD listens when i'm in deep sadness and GOD lets HIS words to touched my heart and let me understand the guilt that i did .i won't be ashamed to admit that HE is the GOD,the real GOD,the eternity GOD,the creater,HE is everything and HE is my everythign.Fellow friends keep on praying as HE is real and HE live among us and listen to our prayer.Mighty LORD you have proven that YOU are the only GOD,KING of kings and LORD of lords and i shall strengthen my heart and follow YOU.Father LORD plz listento my prayer and give me the chance to see more than i should see let me see the wonders things under your creation and father lord plz giveme a chance to be a better person.father lord plz keep me away from the devil and may that peace will be with me.

shoe

finally,i found the shoe that i wanted and feel happy after buying it.Maybe some ppl are right as they said ladies will go for shopping when they are not happy and they tend to buy more stuft that they don need it.I'm unhappy but i only but things that i needed,i saw this shoe few weeks ago but they don have the size that i wanted.When i was in mid valley today i thought of buying another pair but who knows when i asked the promoter he said that size 10 is still available and i felt very happy.Luckily i went to mid valley today.

LIFE......

i'm feeling like what the sky outside my window is feeling right now.Life can so so simple yet so complicated.Life can be so short yet so long and life can also be yet so gay yet so blue.What is life?What kind of life can be considered as a good life.For some,a good life means good academic result,glamour,good pay job,good living condition.Some may say that good life equal a peaceful society, a lovely family and a stable job.If you ask me do i think that i'm having a good life now ,i will give you the below answers.

1.a lovely and caring family(having it right now and the best one...thank god)
2.a spiritual lifestyle(not really having it.....but will try to after graduated, just try to maintain
what i am now...thank god again)
3.money(just ask for enough for my daily life and my family....hate it bacause it is covering ppl's
eye and conscience....thank god i'm not one of them)
4.academic result(although not very outstanding but will still try my best to work on it.....thank
you god for accompanying all the way.....because of you i'm in pj now)
5.glamour(thought that it was very important but now realized that it isn't but will still niss the
old days where i had all the glamours....thank god for giving me a chance to
experience sth that others might not have a chance to do so)
6.friends(lovely,cute and caring friends....will try to love you and remember you 4ever.....bcoz
i know that you will help me when i'm in trouble)
7.multilingualism ability(thank you god for giving me such a good parent and background that
enable me to acquired so many different languages)

believe it or not

Do you DARE?It's flesh from the sea.....Try to guess what it is....I'm sure that you don't heve the guts to do that...Only me TAN CAI XIA has the guts to do so......hahahaha

Home

HOME
A place that full with love
A place that will always welcome you no matter what you did
A place that will always be prepared to help you
A place tha will comfort you when you feel sad
A place that will laugh with you when you are happy
A place that will never abandon you
A place that will protect you when you are bully
A place that will give you protection
A place where you are the princess

MY PROMISE
i will not leave you no matter what
i will always care for you
i will always give you the best thing that i could get
i will always be there for you when you need
i will be by your side no matter what do you look like
i will protect you like how you protect me
i will give you love more than what you gave
i will not hurt your heart
i will always put you in my mind no matter where i am

The depression

when we grow up, we tendd to forget the true meaning of living as we are started to be covered by busy life. As time passes by, we tend to lost our childhood memory and filled up our brain with glamour and dream. We don't have time to recall back what had happened when we were a kid. We started to forget that actually we are ingnoring our parent and our family. I feel guilty when my father said that I alway ignored him and only care for my father. I thought for a while actually I'm not only ignoring my father but i'm alos ignoring the things that are happening beside me, I forget that I was a haapy person before i stepped on this busy and lifeless place. A place that people will do anything just to get what they want and they will use you just to get what they want and they don't really care about your feeling.I'm waiting.I'm waiting to graduate.I'm waiting to go back to the place full of love and concern. I won't go back and stay there without a degree. I will do as i said.

life is lonely without you

i went to genting last sunday on a VIP request but actually i spent the day with myself because he doesn't have time for me.I didn't blame him because i know that he's just busy working so that i can have a better life.

So,eventually i did all the activities by myself,i took my own photos,i had luch with myself, i played games with myself,i shopped with myself. Although i had a lot of 'fun' but i suddenly realized something actually when i went to genting with you it's more fun.Although we sometime quarrel and fight, but at least there's someone there to laugh with me when i was happy and i was happy that i have you .Although i kind of played many things but i didn't enjoy myself like i used to be when you were by my side.

But i'm thankful that GOD had given me such a good siblings and thank you for being my siblings.

stupid computer

stupid computer why you sucide when i need you the most?
stupid computer why you make my life so difficult?
stupid computer do you know what i have to give up just you fix you?
stupid computer why you hurt my feeling so much?
stupid computer you make me feel like suiciding
stupid computer please don do this to me again,ok?

I'm so emo today it's because yesterday night when i was about to start my assignment, my laptop suddenly just black off .I tried fixing it but i'm not the expert what can i do.I feel super duper depressed after that as all assignment will due this friday.It's very in convinience to work without a laptop.If i take my laptop back to ipoh to repair then i will have to give up covering the sports carnival then it will makes me only have 2 news .Why?Why?Why?How dare you d this to me when i need you the most?

谢谢你让我想起过去
让我知道原来我还有过去
让我明白我们必须明白过去才能面对将来
让我明白不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有
我有过那灿烂的回忆


君群及各位朋友们谢谢你

回忆

回忆
原来我的回忆只在脑海里
我没有能够看的照片
我没有一个能证明我过去的东西
我没有一个能怀念过去的物件
有。。。有了
我唯一有的就是不断在我脑海里的片段
突击检查的片段
带班的片段
做为组长的片段
在培训营的日子
在培训营所经历过的事情
参加演讲比赛的片段
身为主席的片断
身为一个被老师疼爱的片段
身为一个司仪的片段
身为一个外语优秀的学生
身为一个被人羡慕的眼光
。。。。。。。。。。。
这一切将随着时间流失
再过一些时间我的历史会被人遗忘

想念与爱惜

刚刚跟一位好九没联系的朋友通了电话，才恍然发现原来我真的变了。我刚摆脱了石器时代而进入文化大复兴的时代。我真的好想念我在怡保的朋友，再想起我们曾经拥有过的日子，原来那才是最甜蜜的日子。

离开了你一段时间后
才发现原来你是最好的
我们所经历过的甜酸苦辣
原来那才是最美味的
埋怨过的那些事情
好象变成了烙印
深深的印在我的脑海
每当我想起的时候
我的眼泪也脱框而出
代表着虽然我长大了
经历了好多事情
但是还是我们经历过的事情是最好的
我好想念我曾经穿过的校服
我好想念以前那种单纯的生活
我觉得好累
我好伤心
我很想回到过去


×当我正在写这篇文章的时候，一段段的片段在我脑海浮现，我的眼泪也随着一切一切一滴一滴的落下，我好象回到过去，再把一切好好的把握。至少我现在会跟学会把握时间以免我将来再后悔。


感谢你，我亲爱的朋友！！！让我再想期这一切

the reality

OMG!!!!!At this very moment I just finished reading ‘A Brush with Reality:Surprises in the Tube”.Now I’m thinking am I going to brush my teeth anymore. I just can’t imagine that I had been brushing my teeth with chalk,water,paint,seaweed,antifreeze,paraffin oil,detergent,etc for 20 years.

Why the manufacturers can put this kind of ingredients into something that we have to use everyday? Does it mean that they are putting all these things in to their mouth at least twice a day? Or maybe the toothpaste that they are using are not the one that consumer is using? Do they rally have to put all these things into something that people have to use everyday? Day after day will it has any side effect on our teeth? Do the manufacturers in Malaysia also use the same ingredients to make toothpaste? Is profit so important compared to human health? Do you think that they should treat human better by giving them a better and safer product? If human cannot treat the others better and fair,how can human be expected to treat animal with a kind heart?

After asking myself this questions, I think that actually this can be a better world if human doesn’t care about money, profit and material. Without it, human won’t do anything that is against their humanity and heart.

enough is enough

i'm sorry if i make you feeling disgusting and unappetizing after reading my blog.Now it's time for some happy and funny stuft.Don't be so depressed,cheer up.we only have to do what we should and make sure that things will be better in the future.lets work together to ensure that our children still can live in a beautiful and natural environment as we are doing now.don let them learn the name of the animals through pictures but they should leatrn it by seeing the real animal.

the cruel and evil faces of the human kind

we sacrificed them just to get what we want.we always talk about human right,but what about animal right?Who will give them the rights that they deserve,although they are created for us to consume.But can those human at least give them some dignity before they become our food on the table?Our animal rights fighters are not doing good enough to get the rights.