starting to realize that life is happy and fun

A letter to GOD

2009-08-14T11:00:00.002+08:00

Dear Father Lord, my sister was admitted into the hospital last night and i also know that we should not only come to you when we have trouble.But lord our family needs miracle now. Father Lord please cure my sister althought i always criticize her but she is still my sister.Please take her away from all those germ and viruses especially H1N1 virus as H1N1 can be spread through human. Father Lord Please increase our immunity system and please bless us with your mercy adn guidance so that we can stay away from all these bacterias and we will be able to make a wise decision on anything that is goign to happen in future. But Father Lord the most important thing is please cure my sister and draw our whole family away from the N1N1 virus. Father Lord please listen to the prayer of your humble child.Please give peace and health to us and draw us away from what is harmful to our body and health. In your mighty name we pray .Amen.

lucky...lucky...lucky

2009-08-07T16:45:00.003+08:00

I've just finished my friday. As a conclusion of the day, 'TODAY IS MY LUCKY DAY'. you must be wondering why today is my lucky day. Let me tell you in details.

1. Agenda: met Mr Paul
Process: i do not have to wait very long for him. Next, he's nice to me because i had what he wants. He did not scold me and make me feel tension as i really did my work. He also suggested that if i cannot continue with the current research i may change my research topic provided if i have enough supporting materials.
happy rating: 5 stars

2.agenda: received a letter
Process: the content of the letter is exactly what i wanted the most.Luckily me friend help me to get the right thing
happy rating:4 stars(because i'm still lack of one doc but it may not be important as i may chnage my research topic)

3.agenda: collected the calculator
Process: for the past few days i was worrying that i might not be able to get a calculator for my research methodology mid term. It's good to have friends from different courses because they are the one that can help me when i'm in this kind of situation. with the calculator, i can practise earlier as i know that math is not my cup of tea.
happy rating:5 stars

4. agenda:ended the meetomng early
process: the meeting last for an hour and that was what i planned because i still have to study for my mid term.
happy rating:3 stars

5.agenda: thought that i'm really a fortunate person
process: i got many things that went on very smooth today and i realize that my family and friends do care about me.
happy rating: unlimited

2009-07-29T19:18:00.002+08:00

At this very moment, i'm on the way back to ipoh. i'm having the luxury treatment all the way.I look like i'm some businesswomen on a business trip because i'm in a very comfortable seat and happyily onlining.this is the first post that i finished in the train and i'm sure that there will be more in the future.

when will it stop?

2009-07-13T16:37:00.002+08:00

H1N1 is getting worst. I'm wondering when will it stops. Do we have to wait until the vaccine being produced and get an injection of the vaccine then only we are immun to the virus? I feel that this is very frightening. Infected cases are increasing everyday and it seems that everyone is potential patient but i think if we are hygine then we don have to be afraid. God bless the world and may God bless you

cheated by PL

2009-07-13T16:33:00.002+08:00

Horrible PL! she cheated me to accompany her in Jaya One until 5pm. But i end up accompanying myself from 2:30 ubtil 6pm, PL left me as soon as she sees her friends at the bus stop.If not because of her i should be in digital mall by now.......horrible PL....not going to believe her next time... :(

oh shit! not that question again

2009-07-10T20:53:00.002+08:00

Why? Why? why i keep on listening to these kind of questions? "why are you coming back again?" "for what are you comingback again?" "wah, you are coming back again?" I admit that i have a perfect parents,but my heart hurts when i listen to these kind of questions. I wanted to know what is the intention hidden behind all these questions. Everytime when i listen to these questions, i feel sad and embarassed. Do i have to feel ashamed to go back? I'm surrounded with all these questions. Please...would you please...let me go. I want to feel happy and proud when i go back. I don't want to feel embarassed and feel like i'm a thief.
I wanted to discuss this matter with you, but you never take it seriously. Does it mean that since you are not taking this matter seriously during discussion, does it also mean that you are just joking when you are asking me all these questions? i'm confussed.i'm really confussed. I don't want to pretent in front of you. i'm graduating soon, when are we going to settle this problem? Trust me, this is the most serious and the only problem that occur in our relationship.

比上不足，比下有余

2009-07-05T20:42:00.002+08:00

刚才突然间有了一个想法，我整天妒嫉人家有得回家，有的天天吃家里的饭，看家里的人，有家里的关怀。可是我想一想，其实我并不需要妒嫉人家因为我比上不足，比下有余。因为当我回家的同时，也有人因为家实在太遥远太贵了而必须等到大放假才能回家。他们的心会比我更妒嫉其他人,所以我应该很惜福。因为我已经拥有了全世界最伟大和最好的爱，最好的母亲。我还需要要求些什么？

SARS Vs H1N1 P.K environment

2009-06-16T09:04:00.004+08:00

SARS (2003) H1N1(2009)
Infected: 8096 + 1706 Infected: 35928 + 5834
Death: 774 + 142 Death : 163 + 18
Malaysia: 17 cases (15th June)

From the numbers above we can see that there is a huge differences between the 2 deadly diseases. The number of those infected increased by few times.But who to be blamed for? Human? Environment? Pigs? Science Lab?Government? I would say that when things happened we don't look for anyone to blame but we should look at the source and the solutions. These are all diseases that came from the environment due to the lack of concern towards the environment,over harvest of the flora and destruction of fauna. So, basically HUMAN are the cause of everything and human are punished by the environment via virus. Look at the history of human's development, there isn't any big infection thaa ever happened in the history. AS the human still care for the envirnoment, treat the environment as their friends and they know how to recycle. As material become more and more important in the eyes of human and when money do make things easier, human started to abandoned the environment and 'treat' money as their only and dearest friend. Environment, family, human friends and flaura and fauna were used to 'bribe' their friend-money. Human sacrificed the things above so that more 'money friends' will stay in their pocket and saving accounts.
The burden of saving the environment is now on our shoulder. It's our responsibility to care about the enviroment, think of your future generation. Do you want them to lie on the sick bed everyday? Do you want them to breath in the air that were polluted by you? Do you want them to know and recognize the flaura and fauna from pictures only? Do you want them to die at a very young age? Do you still want them to see the beautiful iceberg that are in iceland? Do you yourselves wanted to have something wonderful and beatiful to remember when you die? Save them now. Save them by recycling. Save them by not burning rubbish or dried leave in the yard. Save them by telling other's the concept of clean environment.Save them by telling other's to stop doing activities that will cause global warming.
If i can care about them, why not you? If i can tell other's that human are dying because of the things that they did to the environment,why not you? I'm a person that do not take and care about other things seriously but i do seriously care about the environment, because i'm a real HUMAN. I'm a human that care about my future generation. I'm a human that want my children to have what i had. I'm a human that have feeling and i'll feel sorry for the environment. I'm a human. I'm a human that love the earth, environment, country, society and especially I LOVE MY FAMILY. What about you? I hope that you love your family too. Save them before it's too late.

Chinese Art (Part 2)

2009-06-09T19:44:00.003+08:00

Yen Yang RM 25

Ji Xiang Gou RM 18

Xuang Xi Ling Men RM 28

The colour of the product will be in either red or white, you may choose upon ordering.

Chinese Art (Part 1)

2009-06-09T19:19:00.003+08:00

Hey....friends...thank you for dropping by. I'm helping a friend of mine to sell the art works shown below. These are all handmade and it is originated from chinese culture which is called 'jian zhi'. The real products are more lively and interesting, you may ask for more details from me or email to my friend (sallychuah98@gmail.com). But the whole process will be faster and better if you go through me because i have some of the products with me. There are also some special privillegas for those buying more than RM 150 and the most important thing is she let me to sell these to people i know with a 10% off but it has to before 23rd June 2009. DON'T FORGET TO INTRODUCE THESE PRODUCTS TO YOUR FRIENDS AND THEY CAN ALSO GET 10% DISCOUNT. Remember that you can buy it from me or just order by sending the details to the gamail add above. Thank you.

--smooth and safe---

2009-05-31T23:40:00.002+08:00

1st of June

The starting of final year 1st semester. I'm hoping for a wonderful start and hope that i can finish my FYP and my final year smoothly. May GOD bless the earth, the people, the flora and fauna,Malaysia, my family, my parents, my FYP, my studies, my future, my health and me.

I want to stop laughing but it was proven scientifically that laguther can reduce sickness and increase immunity system so i shall continue to laugh as much as i can and may your day be happy and cherish.

a comments after watching little nyonya)

2009-05-13T15:39:00.003+08:00

why is there a social gap between men and women? After so many years of civilization, women are still considered as the inferior group in famliy, education, society and economically. Women choose to put family at the 1st place and be more considarable to givr the best to the children but why are they still treated badly by men?what so great about their name as men?so what if you are more capable in inheriting the family's name?men still need women in reproduction progress, boys also get a better chance compared to girls in the same family, they will be given the best resources that the family had and girls had to be tolerate and let them have the best thing while the only outcome that they can give is useless and meaningless stuft.i tell myself that i had enough of this even if i cannot change the fate of all women in the earth at least i can change my own fate, a fate that is govern by the law. i always agree with the act that western community especially women guarantee their own benefits by signing a pre marriage agreement that will govern their life after marry.

-----TITLELESS-----

2009-04-25T14:10:00.002+08:00

I feel like killing myself (literaly). I'm feeling so damn tired and stress right now. I'm really feeling very tired and i feel like escaping to some places that only have cool wind, zero stress, bed and food (preferable buffet with cheese cake and peppermint ice-cream). I'm glad that all the subjects have 2 to 3 days break and that will somehow give me some time to study for the subsequence subject as i only manage to study LLT during my study week. I can imagine that after 2 weeks of stressful exam, it will be time for me to prepare my FYP proposal with a lot of reading and brainstorming. I think that i have a good scope of study but the literature review might not be enough, that's the time where i need to bury my eyes into books and books and books non-stop. One thing for sure that this is time where i seriuously focus on my studies and be stress throughout the whole year until i completed my FYP and graduate by passing it. From now on, i'll be in a caution and stressful state where intrinsic,extrinsic,intrgrative and instrumental motivation(sorry for being to obessed with the theories)must be here to motivate me no matter in what fucking situation.

*p/s Is anyone using celcom broadband? Is it good? How's the coverage and speed? pls leave me some comment about it...planned to change to celcom coz i won't have internet acess at my house if i don't do so....

Declaration

2009-04-14T16:19:00.002+08:00

To my friends:
This letter is dedicated to my friends that knew what is happening between me and the other one. The battle between us has ended as i found out something that i shouldn't know. I saw what is really happening and i decided to give up and carry on with my own life. The current status between us will just be like the status that i have with you (the person reading this post). We may seem to be close in future but do remember that my feelings have ended with the declaration and posting of this post. You do not need to comfort me but you should congratulate for making such a wise decision.

* that relationship is not everything to me. but instead it's just a supplement of my life

From:
Elizabeth Tan
14-04-09
1625

i'm just a shit that deserve my place in the toilet bowl

2009-04-11T08:37:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was just not my day as i did badly for my language teaching presentation and sociolinguistic presentation. After my language teaching presentation, i kept on asking myself maybe teaching is just not my cup of tea. I'm very enthusiastic in involving myself in education line and treat it as my lifetime career but after yesterday i suddenly thought that maybe i'm just a piece of useless shit that won't be able to do well in anything. Maybe i'm just destined to be a rubbish collector which nobody will want to do in today's world. i'm just a piece of shit that also make others feel dissapointed. I really feel very depressed yesterday and actually my tears were in my eye just that i don allow it to fall.undeniable, i'm really an useless shit that just wasting food and money.i'm useless.i can't do anything.
when i thought that the situation will be better for socio presentation, who knows actually it was the worst. I totally collapsed without any doubt. Again, my tears appear in my eyes again but it was in the middle of the presentation, i can't let my tears drop down from my eyes.Luckily, my tears listened to my desire and didn't fall down from my eyes. During these 2 years, yesterday was the 1st time i had such feeling .I hope that that will be the first and the last time this kind of feeling will never appear again.

My Rights

2009-04-05T19:37:00.002+08:00

What are the rights that i can and wanted to claim? Below are the rights that i wanted to claim from you, you and you:

1. the right to miss my home sweet home
-do not describe me as homesick when i wanted to go back or when i sounded like i miss my
family

2. the right of being a christian
- i don't feel embarressed by being a Christian and please do not insult my religion by making
fun of it and saying things that do not have any evidence

3.the right to say 'i love you'
-i've learned to appreciate what i have and i'll choose to express my feeling so that you'll know
what i'm thinking

4.the right to have strong interpersonal skill
- i have the right to have my own self-esteem and realize what kind of person i am, please do
not laugh and tease me when i understand what i want

5.the right to choose a companion
-i'm not hot and sexy but i do have the right to choose who i want to be with so stop gossiping
behind me, if he rejects at least i tried and i knew

6.the right of being protected
- you don have the right to threat me and hurt my little soul

7.the right of being someone who is successful in life
-please do not compare me with others as everyone is special and i believe that with your
encouragement i can be someone in life

8.the right to have a clean environment
-these are all done by human, polluting, burning rubbish, causing the global warming and so on
My right has stated clearly that i demand a clean and safe environment and also away from
the society's rubbish.

9.the right to consume safe and healthy food

我失败了吗？

2009-03-22T20:13:00.002+08:00

I keep on asking myself, have i failed as a student? have try my best to accomplish the duties that were given to me? is it a hint that show that i should quit now?have i failed my mum expectations towards me?

i'll try...i'll try to do my best....i'll try to achieve my own goal....i'll try to do everything as perfect as possible.....i'll try.....no....i must.....i must do it.......damn eli..........how can you be like this?..........wake up eli.....wake up.....you're surrounded by enemies......eli......pick up your gun and shoot your enemies till death.......ELIZABETH TAN....WAKE UP....OR YOU WILL BE SHOT BY YOUR ENEMIES.........

Am i a coward?

2009-02-25T19:34:00.002+08:00

My friends keep asking me why do i go back so often?I asked myself so i need a reason to go back to my own home? Does it mean that if i go back on regularly basis i'm a 'coward'?someone that is not independent ? Do i really need to be homesick just to go back to my own home?I believe that i do not need any reason to go back to the place that i belong to. I don't have to be homesick to go back and have a nice weekend with my family.NO...I need NO reason to go back....I need NO comments from you....I just want to spend more time with my family....I just want to tell them that i love them......I just need them to know that you can't use money to value the love that i've been giving you.....I love you....MUM....

p/s: to my beloved mum
I know that why you keep asking me that why i'm so free when your colleague's kids are busy with their assignments and 'rarely' have the time to go back to their hometown. I have my own things to take care of here but i know how to manage my time between school and family.I don't want any gap in our relationship and i'm trying to maintain and improve our relatioship.I just love you with all my heart and i just want to spend more time with you and listening to you talking about your work and problems.I just want to share with you the experience that i had here because I LOVE YOU and i hope that you will understand and don't always ask me for the reasons of returning.I might not be able to think of any in the future.

The Perak Politic Agenda (as reported on TV)

2009-02-09T20:02:00.003+08:00

a.The frog Jumping agenda
BN jump to PR then jump back to BN
2 PR reps jump to BN

b.BN announced that they are eligible to form a state government by the majority seats owned
BN(28) + support BN (3) VS. PR 28

c.New MB swore in

d.2 MBs occur

e.arguing about the rights of who can form state government

f.street demonstration

g.Bukit 武吉干當 area 國會議員 passed away,predicted that a by-election will be held

to be continued........may GOD bless Perak

美好的时光

2009-02-08T19:20:00.002+08:00

美好的时光往往都是过得特别快，我刚回来不到两个小时但是我已经感觉到冷酷的感觉。在家的感觉实在太棒了，当你伤心时，有人安慰你，当你开心时，有人陪你一起笑。无时无刻都有人陪在你左右，太好了。家实在是太温暖了，家实在是太好了，家实在是不能用词语来解释的东西。无论如何，我会坚持到最后一刻。因为我只需要留在这无情的地方大约还有一年，过后我便可天天逗留在我温暖的家，天天看着我最亲爱的家人，疼爱他们，爱护他们。我可爱的家，我永远的避难所，等我吧！

新年的前夕与家

2009-01-17T20:44:00.002+08:00

我发觉了一样东西，那就是等待新年的感觉好痛苦。为什么？我也不懂，或许因为我是一个很重视家庭观念的人，又或许我是一个贪玩的人。我老是觉得新年前或后没有家人在身边的感觉是最孤独的，至少家是永远最温暖和安全的避风港。或许你会笑我是个黏家的小孩，请笑吧！因为我的家虽然没有最华丽的装设、也没有随时候命的佣人、也没有雄伟的建筑，但是我并不介意因为当我在家时，所有的烦恼，所有的不满，所有的怨恨，所有的悲伤，所有的一切，都会离我远去。因为我的家是充满爱、关怀、欢乐、安慰的避风港。无论发生什么事情，我会永永远远支持他、守护他、珍惜他、爱戴他不让他受任何的伤害。如有一天我忘了我所说过的话，请提醒我他曾经是我最宝贵的避风港。

i'm filled with problems

2009-01-14T20:37:00.000+08:00

珍惜

2008-12-14T00:42:00.002+08:00

人是一种很奇妙的动物
他是最聪明的
但他也是最愚蠢的
因为他需要等到失去后才懂得珍惜
失去了才觉得可惜
失去了才懂得珍贵
失去了才懂得怀念
失去了才懂得挽回
有时一切的挽回都太迟了
我失去过但现更懂得珍惜
珍惜上帝所赐给我的一切一切
我曾经失去过所以更加懂得珍惜
因为我不想再等到失去了才后悔
后悔当初没好好珍惜
后悔当初辜负了你
幸好这一切一切还来得及
我会永远把你放在我之前上帝之后
这将是我对你一生的承诺

An unknown Challenge

2008-11-20T19:18:00.002+08:00

I'm facing unknown challenge now. The chanllenge is i'm still having sore throat for more than 2 weeks,according to what the doctor said if i still have sore thraot after finishing my antibiotik on Monday then i'll have to be refer to a Specialist(which i don want to).At this period of time,i only can rest more,drink more water and pray more and hope that i'll totally cure by this Sunday.

A little request: My fellow friends, can you please include me in your prayer and help me to ask GOD to cure me

I hate my current lifestyle and KL

2008-11-04T21:50:00.004+08:00

I feel so helpless here. I feel lonely here.I don't know who to trust and who to avoid. Sometimes when things happened especially when i need someone to talk to, no one is there.No one is willing to listen to my complains.No one would listen to my sad story .No one really knows how i feel.Life seems to be meaningless here.However, I keep telling myself that i must be patience.I only have to go through this kind of life for about 1 and half year.After that i'll be out of here (KL),i'll go back to where i belong.I'll go back to my old life where there are hope and love.I don't care how glamour you are with your job and pay.I don't care how civilize you are by living in the city. I don care how wealthy you are.I'm sure that the love that is given to me will worth much more that you have.

ME

2008-10-24T23:46:00.002+08:00

it's easy to get a friend
it's easy to get a listener
it's easy to talk to someone
but
it's difficult to tell someone your true thought
it's diffidult to tell someone your true feeling
it's difficult to find a real friend that you don have to care of anything else
when you are talking to them
it's difficult to disclose yourself
it's difficult
it's really difficult and complicated

who can i talk to?
who will listen to me?
who will not judge me based on what i said?
who will just lend me her/his ear and listen to me quitely?
i'm setting up a wall for myself
i'm closing the friend's border
i'm searching for someone that i won't be afraid of
i'm looking for the one that i'm familiar of

where are you?
where are you,my friend?
where are you,the naive me?
where are you the true me?
where are you the happy me?
where are you the talkative me?

Please come back
Please come back to me
Please come back to me and make me happy
Please make me happy like i used to be

i will worship you all of my life and i will serve you forever

2008-10-09T20:02:00.002+08:00

i just saw my last semester result and out of my expectation i scored pretty good....and i know i can't do it without HIS help......HE is the LORD..the only true lord......i will worship HIM and HIS name be remember till eternity.....

this can be consider as a good news for me after being depresse for so many weeks.After all those bad news that i heard along this sem break,the news of baby dying because of contaminated milk,sick infant that have to be warded as a result of the tainted milk and the world economy and the reality that i have to go back to kl again.I know that i maybe unhappy after going back to kl but i believe that GOD will continue to look after me and give me strength and i know that GOD will give me a chance to serve HIM and HE will make sure that devil will stay away from me and HE will send his angels to care for me and share my life together.

i curse you melamine.....

2008-10-05T16:05:00.002+08:00

Melamine, o melamine
you were the main dish for children
as you are the main chemical that formed most of the dairy products in the market
but you were wrongly used by those stupid human
those stupid human that was covered by money
stink and evil money that had taken away the wonderful future of the infants
stupid and stink money that causes everyone has to be aware of what they are consuming
headless china guy,
you know that you can only have one child
but now you are destroying their future by letting them to drink milk
headless china ppl
you'd ruined the life of your own future
you'd contaminated your food with malamine
you'd even destroy your own image
you'd put poison into your own country economy
you'd make everyone suffer because of your own good
i curse you curse your future and your name shall be curse forever by other

P/s:victims of melamine should stand up together and UN should take action against them for the good of the ppl that still need the nutrient from dairy products.....

helo...good morning

2008-09-18T04:57:00.002+08:00

it's 4:58am now and i'm awake.i don know why i'm awake i need someone to tell me the reason.is it because i'm too happy because i'm going back today?is it because i'm too stress because i'm having the last paper today?is it because i'd enough sleep?is it because the light is still on and that the reason that i woke up.i just couldn't find out the reason but i think that i still need to sleep.actually i didn't sleep well although slept.i hope that i won't fall asleep during exam time,at laest laet me finish my paper before i sleep.
well,happy holiday guys!enjoy your holiday and remember to come back during next semester.

the dream that have to wait to become true

2008-09-16T18:51:00.002+08:00

i was sleeping few minutes ago and had a dream.i don't know i should consider the dream as a nice dream or a nightmare,but i think it's a nice and beautiful dream.i dream that i was at my lovely home drinking the chicken soup cooked by my mother and my sister was telling me that she's glad i'm home and she misses me very very much.I woke up and found out that it's just a dream.i'm still in pj where food are super duper digusting and i have no one beside and arround me.it's just a dream that is waitng for realization.i immediately call my mum and told her the dream( i always look for my mum when i have dream no matter it's a nice dream or nightmare)
chicken soup and my sister wait for me, i'm going back this thursday.

i'll stop writing here,have to go and get some food and have to start studying as soon as i finish my dinner.gotta go....bye bye.....may god bless all the blog readers and my 'enemy'(the one that seems to be so near to me but annoying)

灭亡？从头开始？

2008-09-15T14:33:00.002+08:00

我彻底的失望了，为什么人类还不醒觉这世界就要消失了吗？祖先留下来的文化也会随着消失也代表着人类也会消失了。你难道忍心看着你的孩子也跟着消失吗？你有什么权力夺走他们的未来？我的心开始冷了，也开始发现原来单靠我一个人的力量并不能改变世界。我希望伟大的造物者，伟大的真神恳求您别收回这个世界，恳求您为了千千万万个刚出生天真无邪的孩子们，请再给我们一次机会。我们答应您我们会做得更好，哪怕这世界上只剩下一个好人，也恳求阿爸天父祝福他的后代赐给他后代的愿与当年赐给大卫王的如此丰盛。恳求您继续的赐福于这片土地因为并非所有的良心都被金钱覆盖。恳求阿爸天父聆听我们的祷告，赦免我们因无知而反下的过错。阿门。

I have a feeling that the world is dying and men will dissapeared from this earth just like how dinosours dissapreared from this land.They dissapeared because they do not have enough food but men will dissapeared because the pollution that they made.The ice is melting,the temperature is rising,the heart is covering by black spirit,the love is replacing by material.My alone i can't do anything,i need your help.Tell your friends about the problems that we are facing,tell them to stop polluting,tell them to stop smoking,tell them to tell their friends what they heard from you."perpaduan teras kejayaan".Don make us dissapear from this beautiful land,think about your family that love you,think about your future children,think about the places that you haven't visit before,think of your own life do you wan to become breathless and be like those ppl in the movie 'wall.e'?Or do you want the earth to be like the earth in the movie 'ice age'?think of the moral lesson that you can get from this type of movie.think of future,think of your family,think of yourself.pls leave a comment to show that you also love the earth and you care for 'him'.

'those for tears'

2008-09-12T21:23:00.002+08:00

i found a very nice book in pc library and found that actually it helps me a lot at this moment.before this i used to ask myself did LORD abandoned me,did HE forget about me,is he going to just leave me here and etc.after reading the book and relate it to my dailr life i'm sure to say that the GOD is still with me and HE is listening to my prayers.i know that HE is there when i'm weak and HE's there when i'm sad and i know HE's there when i needed help from HIM.i do believe that GOD will make a way when it seems to be no way.the book also teaches me that keep praying and HE is the GOD that listen and will fulfill our wishes in HIS very own way.just like today,HE let me found that book when i was feeling miserable.i was touched by the words inside that book as those words are the answer to the question that i have in my head.all my questions are answered and i learned sth precious today.GOD really watched us everyday every moment and HE had never change his love from the past till the future.just like what the book said 'GOD does care about me,when i was walking the rain stop and when i was in the car the rain just fall immediately from the sky' 'i can feel that JESUS is beteween us as HE keep me away from communist,japanese and the hard times'.all this happened to me,rain stopped when i'm in a hurry,the robbers just let mego without hurting me and didn take away my valuable property,GOD take care of me and give me a safe journey when i'm going back to ipoh,GOD heal me when i'm sick,GOD listens when i'm in deep sadness and GOD lets HIS words to touched my heart and let me understand the guilt that i did .i won't be ashamed to admit that HE is the GOD,the real GOD,the eternity GOD,the creater,HE is everything and HE is my everythign.Fellow friends keep on praying as HE is real and HE live among us and listen to our prayer.Mighty LORD you have proven that YOU are the only GOD,KING of kings and LORD of lords and i shall strengthen my heart and follow YOU.Father LORD plz listento my prayer and give me the chance to see more than i should see let me see the wonders things under your creation and father lord plz giveme a chance to be a better person.father lord plz keep me away from the devil and may that peace will be with me.

shoe

2008-08-25T19:44:00.002+08:00

finally,i found the shoe that i wanted and feel happy after buying it.Maybe some ppl are right as they said ladies will go for shopping when they are not happy and they tend to buy more stuft that they don need it.I'm unhappy but i only but things that i needed,i saw this shoe few weeks ago but they don have the size that i wanted.When i was in mid valley today i thought of buying another pair but who knows when i asked the promoter he said that size 10 is still available and i felt very happy.Luckily i went to mid valley today.

LIFE......

2008-08-24T13:10:00.003+08:00

i'm feeling like what the sky outside my window is feeling right now.Life can so so simple yet so complicated.Life can be so short yet so long and life can also be yet so gay yet so blue.What is life?What kind of life can be considered as a good life.For some,a good life means good academic result,glamour,good pay job,good living condition.Some may say that good life equal a peaceful society, a lovely family and a stable job.If you ask me do i think that i'm having a good life now ,i will give you the below answers.

1.a lovely and caring family(having it right now and the best one...thank god)
2.a spiritual lifestyle(not really having it.....but will try to after graduated, just try to maintain
what i am now...thank god again)
3.money(just ask for enough for my daily life and my family....hate it bacause it is covering ppl's
eye and conscience....thank god i'm not one of them)
4.academic result(although not very outstanding but will still try my best to work on it.....thank
you god for accompanying all the way.....because of you i'm in pj now)
5.glamour(thought that it was very important but now realized that it isn't but will still niss the
old days where i had all the glamours....thank god for giving me a chance to
experience sth that others might not have a chance to do so)
6.friends(lovely,cute and caring friends....will try to love you and remember you 4ever.....bcoz
i know that you will help me when i'm in trouble)
7.multilingualism ability(thank you god for giving me such a good parent and background that
enable me to acquired so many different languages)

believe it or not

2008-08-22T16:49:00.003+08:00

Do you DARE?It's flesh from the sea.....Try to guess what it is....I'm sure that you don't heve the guts to do that...Only me TAN CAI XIA has the guts to do so......hahahaha

Home

2008-08-15T16:23:00.003+08:00

HOME
A place that full with love
A place that will always welcome you no matter what you did
A place that will always be prepared to help you
A place tha will comfort you when you feel sad
A place that will laugh with you when you are happy
A place that will never abandon you
A place that will protect you when you are bully
A place that will give you protection
A place where you are the princess

MY PROMISE
i will not leave you no matter what
i will always care for you
i will always give you the best thing that i could get
i will always be there for you when you need
i will be by your side no matter what do you look like
i will protect you like how you protect me
i will give you love more than what you gave
i will not hurt your heart
i will always put you in my mind no matter where i am

The depression

2008-08-15T16:12:00.002+08:00

when we grow up, we tendd to forget the true meaning of living as we are started to be covered by busy life. As time passes by, we tend to lost our childhood memory and filled up our brain with glamour and dream. We don't have time to recall back what had happened when we were a kid. We started to forget that actually we are ingnoring our parent and our family. I feel guilty when my father said that I alway ignored him and only care for my father. I thought for a while actually I'm not only ignoring my father but i'm alos ignoring the things that are happening beside me, I forget that I was a haapy person before i stepped on this busy and lifeless place. A place that people will do anything just to get what they want and they will use you just to get what they want and they don't really care about your feeling.I'm waiting.I'm waiting to graduate.I'm waiting to go back to the place full of love and concern. I won't go back and stay there without a degree. I will do as i said.

life is lonely without you

2008-08-12T16:21:00.004+08:00

i went to genting last sunday on a VIP request but actually i spent the day with myself because he doesn't have time for me.I didn't blame him because i know that he's just busy working so that i can have a better life.

So,eventually i did all the activities by myself,i took my own photos,i had luch with myself, i played games with myself,i shopped with myself. Although i had a lot of 'fun' but i suddenly realized something actually when i went to genting with you it's more fun.Although we sometime quarrel and fight, but at least there's someone there to laugh with me when i was happy and i was happy that i have you .Although i kind of played many things but i didn't enjoy myself like i used to be when you were by my side.

But i'm thankful that GOD had given me such a good siblings and thank you for being my siblings.

stupid computer

2008-08-06T08:41:00.001+08:00

stupid computer why you sucide when i need you the most?
stupid computer why you make my life so difficult?
stupid computer do you know what i have to give up just you fix you?
stupid computer why you hurt my feeling so much?
stupid computer you make me feel like suiciding
stupid computer please don do this to me again,ok?

I'm so emo today it's because yesterday night when i was about to start my assignment, my laptop suddenly just black off .I tried fixing it but i'm not the expert what can i do.I feel super duper depressed after that as all assignment will due this friday.It's very in convinience to work without a laptop.If i take my laptop back to ipoh to repair then i will have to give up covering the sports carnival then it will makes me only have 2 news .Why?Why?Why?How dare you d this to me when i need you the most?

2008-07-30T22:20:00.002+08:00

谢谢你让我想起过去
让我知道原来我还有过去
让我明白我们必须明白过去才能面对将来
让我明白不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有
我有过那灿烂的回忆

君群及各位朋友们谢谢你

回忆

2008-07-30T22:08:00.002+08:00

回忆
原来我的回忆只在脑海里
我没有能够看的照片
我没有一个能证明我过去的东西
我没有一个能怀念过去的物件
有。。。有了
我唯一有的就是不断在我脑海里的片段
突击检查的片段
带班的片段
做为组长的片段
在培训营的日子
在培训营所经历过的事情
参加演讲比赛的片段
身为主席的片断
身为一个被老师疼爱的片段
身为一个司仪的片段
身为一个外语优秀的学生
身为一个被人羡慕的眼光
。。。。。。。。。。。
这一切将随着时间流失
再过一些时间我的历史会被人遗忘

想念与爱惜

2008-07-30T21:36:00.003+08:00

刚刚跟一位好九没联系的朋友通了电话，才恍然发现原来我真的变了。我刚摆脱了石器时代而进入文化大复兴的时代。我真的好想念我在怡保的朋友，再想起我们曾经拥有过的日子，原来那才是最甜蜜的日子。

离开了你一段时间后
才发现原来你是最好的
我们所经历过的甜酸苦辣
原来那才是最美味的
埋怨过的那些事情
好象变成了烙印
深深的印在我的脑海
每当我想起的时候
我的眼泪也脱框而出
代表着虽然我长大了
经历了好多事情
但是还是我们经历过的事情是最好的
我好想念我曾经穿过的校服
我好想念以前那种单纯的生活
我觉得好累
我好伤心
我很想回到过去

×当我正在写这篇文章的时候，一段段的片段在我脑海浮现，我的眼泪也随着一切一切一滴一滴的落下，我好象回到过去，再把一切好好的把握。至少我现在会跟学会把握时间以免我将来再后悔。

感谢你，我亲爱的朋友！！！让我再想期这一切

the reality

2008-07-28T10:28:00.002+08:00

OMG!!!!!At this very moment I just finished reading ‘A Brush with Reality:Surprises in the Tube”.Now I’m thinking am I going to brush my teeth anymore. I just can’t imagine that I had been brushing my teeth with chalk,water,paint,seaweed,antifreeze,paraffin oil,detergent,etc for 20 years.

Why the manufacturers can put this kind of ingredients into something that we have to use everyday? Does it mean that they are putting all these things in to their mouth at least twice a day? Or maybe the toothpaste that they are using are not the one that consumer is using? Do they rally have to put all these things into something that people have to use everyday? Day after day will it has any side effect on our teeth? Do the manufacturers in Malaysia also use the same ingredients to make toothpaste? Is profit so important compared to human health? Do you think that they should treat human better by giving them a better and safer product? If human cannot treat the others better and fair,how can human be expected to treat animal with a kind heart?

After asking myself this questions, I think that actually this can be a better world if human doesn’t care about money, profit and material. Without it, human won’t do anything that is against their humanity and heart.

enough is enough

2008-07-26T23:57:00.002+08:00

i'm sorry if i make you feeling disgusting and unappetizing after reading my blog.Now it's time for some happy and funny stuft.Don't be so depressed,cheer up.we only have to do what we should and make sure that things will be better in the future.lets work together to ensure that our children still can live in a beautiful and natural environment as we are doing now.don let them learn the name of the animals through pictures but they should leatrn it by seeing the real animal.

the cruel and evil faces of the human kind

2008-07-26T23:49:00.002+08:00

we sacrificed them just to get what we want.we always talk about human right,but what about animal right?Who will give them the rights that they deserve,although they are created for us to consume.But can those human at least give them some dignity before they become our food on the table?Our animal rights fighters are not doing good enough to get the rights.

beauty vs uglyness

2008-07-26T23:22:00.000+08:00

THESE ARE ALL REAL PHOTO,NOT PHOTOSHOP PRODUCTS,THINK CRITICALLY AND SEE WHAT HUMAN DID TO THE ENVIRONMENT .A PHOTO CAN MEANS LOT MORE THAN WORDS.SEE IT FOR YOURSELF,FOOLISH AND SELFISH HUMAN KIND.

Enjoying

2008-07-26T23:12:00.002+08:00

i'm now currently enjoying my life here (alone in the room without anyone).the room seems cooler than it used to be and i don have to sleep with the light on nor the radioactive from computer(although i also on my laptop for the whole day).i just enjoy it.i'm very happy and i really feel it.

stupid game

2008-07-26T20:22:00.003+08:00

1.you said that you will guarantee that beijing olympic will be environment friendly
*do you know that when the torch arrived in a country how many resources are used to
'welcome' that thing?all those papers that were used to prepare the torch relay plan,papers that were used to print out the timetable ,it's all unnecessary and a waste of paper.
*how many steels,clothes and decorations that u need to set up the stages to welcome the torch and to build the 'niao chao'?
*how many trash that you had produced in all this process?
*how many paper that you will use when the game officially started?

SO,DO YOU STILL THINK THAT BEIJING OLYMPIC IS 'ENVIRONMENTAL FRIENDLY?

stupid and wise love

2008-07-26T17:52:00.003+08:00

After so many things i finally understand that love actually can be something very tricky and really really blind.It is a trap and if you are not aware of it,it will trap you and make you do something stupid.

Do you think that it's worth to give up your future and life just for that foolish love?Do you think that love is everything?Do you think that love is eternity?i don't believe that.As long as a couple is not married and until the day we leave this world we will only know is love really love.But there are two kinds of love that will never change no matter what happened and would not ask for repay.One of the love is the love from god .The second love is the love from your family.Although we know that there are also some family that do not care for their famly mambers and some parents may also do not care for their children.but that is only the minority.all the parents in this world will try to give their children the best.they will make sure that their children is happy and will success in their life.they wll forgive their children no matter what they did.

Remember my friends,love between a man and a woman can change anywhere,anytime but the love of your family will not change.They will always be there to support and care for you.

responsibility

2008-07-25T19:41:00.002+08:00

随着时间的流失，越来越多的文化古物开始失修。我们身为这世界的一部分我们能做些甚么？我们能扛起这意义重大却又简单的责任吗？

文化古物是古人留给我们做为历史的见证，

i found it...seriously...i found something i lost for a long time

2008-07-16T15:32:00.002+08:00

I found something that I lost since i entered Uni.I'm sure that it is the thig that i am looking for all along,i found it and i'm not letting it go.That's the feeling that give me strength when i was in secondary school,my secondary school life was so meaningful because of it.Today i finally found it and i'm not giving it away coz i want my uni life to be as meaningful as my secondary school life.

Let me tell you the thing that i lost it was the feeling of participating in competition especially elocution contest (or something like pidato).i attended a pidato intergrity today after looking and listening to the contestants some kind of feeling suddenly boiling and jumping in my body.Yeah i'm sure that that was the feeling that i'd been looking for since i'm here.I lost the hope of fighting with other and lost the hope and the fun of winning a competition.I shall not lose it again.For now i know that's the feeling that i'm looking for this few years.

whether i'm going to take part i the contest or not at least i know that this shall be a sweet memory for me and for my glorious and shinning years that i had in my scondary school.

A new way

2008-07-15T17:36:00.003+08:00

I keep on wondering why i need to go through so many things and why i had to experienced so many incidents.After listening to "God will make a way" ,i believe that this is the way that god make for me,although i went through some sad incidents in kl but HE gave me a safe way to walk ,hold me closely to HIS side and to gain the experience that other's don have.I do believe that HE works in a way that we cannot see

HE had given me aq very special family background that i don think that other will have. At least HE had given me the best parent that i could look for on the earth and HE gave me everything that other's do not have such as the opportunity of going out with my church members which are much older than me ,attend church camp at a very young age and most pf the youth in the church care for me a lot.But i think the best way that HE had make for me is by giving such a good parent,i was a very bad kid when i was studying in secondary school(there are a lot of secret that only me and my mother know) but i thank HIM for giving a parent that are willing to forgive upon what i had done.

I cannot really describe every best things that HE had done for me.But if there's someone who ask me is there god,the answer that i will give will definitely be "Yes,there is god and jesus is the only true god that we should worship.

I know that HE is trying to safe the earth from dissapearing and i believe that HE WILL MADE A WAY WHEN IT SEEMS NO WAY".

Thank you giving everything that i had and happiness and lots of lots of things .I believe that YOU WILL MADE A WAY FOR ME.

tired and exhausted

2008-07-07T19:45:00.004+08:00

i am tired....i am very tired....i am extremely tired.....i am super duper tired......i am not physically tired but i'm mentally tired.....i don know why i'm so tired,maybe it's because there are a lot of things for me to think about.There are a lot of things that are waiting for me to complete and made decision.i want to get out of all this things.When can i put down all these thing and take a short break?

can i be like the baby and can someoneput take over my problem for awhile and let me rest for a few days.i promise that after this break i will take over everything again.

i want to sleep

2008-07-07T00:48:00.003+08:00

OMG....i can't sleep tonight.Everything is going to due soon,assignments and test.i'm too stress i wanted to sleep but when i close my eye i will start thinking of the works that waiting for me to finish.I wanted to study but it seems that it's quite hard to put things in my brain right now.I hope that i wont feel so pressure after tonight and manage to finish what i should do.

笨蛋

2008-07-06T20:26:00.002+08:00

愚蠢的世人,你可知道你在破坏着地球
无知的人们，你可知道地球正走向灭亡
自私的人们，你可知道灭亡等于死亡
幼稚的人们一切还未太迟
从现在开始请为你的孩子着想
减少垃圾量，支持环保
停止破坏，爱惜地球
爱惜你的孩子
爱惜你的将来
金钱并非一切
永恒的地球和你的孩子
才是你最持久的财富

happy day

2008-06-27T11:03:00.001+08:00

don't take it seriously

2008-06-24T13:12:00.002+08:00

don't worry for what i said in the previous posting.That is not my personal experience it's just something that suddenly come across my mind after listening to somebody disclosure.

my regards

2008-06-24T12:46:00.003+08:00

At this moment i had deleted 2 articles,i just can't finish it.I'm kind of tired of writing blogs but i will never give up any chance that i have in my life because there are still many things waiting for me to do.Don't worry and don't htink that i'm giving up my life.Sorry to say i will not give up until my last breathe and i will not take my life away .

ai.....ai....ai....

2008-06-19T11:10:00.002+08:00

i don't know i still can stand thos kind of condition for how long.i know that this is not the atitude that i should have but i feel that there is something that is trying to make me lose and persuading me to give up before i started to do anything.I don't want to let my parent know coz they thought that i'm still who i was.i don want them to worry and i don have the gust to tell them.I must try to find back who i was myself.i cannot lose.i cannot lose.i cannot lose.i definitely cannot lose.to my friends that saw this blog the only thing that i wanted to tell you is please don give me any advise let me face it myself and don give my any empathy look.i may be more stronger than what you thought and i'm just writing this to express my feelings.

坚强。。。脆弱。。。。朋友

2008-06-19T10:34:00.002+08:00

你会听到他们说成长的道路应该自己去面对，你认为对吗？经过时间的磨炼，我觉得我变得越来越脆弱了。我变得对身边的人都存有戒心，这不应该是我应有的心态。为什么？或许我应该考虑转到金宝读，我已经快崩溃了。我每次回来都提心吊胆，我真没用。坦白的说，我决定让我的家人朋友陪伴我成长。我也愿意让神看顾我，做我生命的光引导我。

brave soul

2008-06-12T10:00:00.003+08:00

Look at these people they are suffering but they continue to live bravely

2008-06-12T09:59:00.000+08:00

Warning

2008-06-12T09:50:00.003+08:00

Many things happened recently earthquake,flood,diseases and lots more.But did people notice that this might be a early warning of what will happen next?To me this is a great warning that if we continue to pollute the environment and destroy the surrounding something bigger than what had happened will happen.People please think of your future generation do not be so selfish and only think about yourself.Our children they need clean air to breathe,they need non polluted drinking water,they need a zero crime rate society and they also need pure love and care.Please people i beg you please think of the children that you had and the children that you are having.Think of them,think of the future,think of the environment and think about the society.

Sad....Sad....sad

2008-06-10T17:24:00.004+08:00

I gain something today but eventually it seems that i have to pay for it .As a result i lost my pendrive.Luckily i haven't started to do any assignment and i didn't save my journal that i have to pass up in the pendrive so never mind la.Actually it's a chance for me to but a new pendrive.I';m still thinking should i buy 2gb or a 4gb pendrive but i think i'll go for 4 gb.

Result...result....result

2008-06-03T14:12:00.002+08:00

I've checked my result today,now I feel kind relief although my result is not still as good as i wanted.But never mind i shall give myself one more chance(the last chance),i must fit myself into the list where i must be.

I KENA ROBBED

2008-05-03T18:24:00.002+08:00

I was robbed this morning when i was waiting for bus to mid valley.I was waiting for rapid kl and two indian guy with motor stopped at the bus stop where i was sitting.I saw that they were calling someone and looking at their bike as if there's some problem with it.So i didn't take any precautions step,i just thought they were ordinary people with ordinary problems.But when people started walking towards the bus stop,suddenly the guy sitting at the bus stop took out a knife and pointed at me and said "rompak".I said ok,ok to calm him down because i was afraid that he will do something else to me.Then when he got my handphone he ran way directly.Luckily he didn't hurt me and i'm ok except i was shocked.God bless me.Actually luckily i prayed this morning.PEOPLE BELIEVE THERE IS A GOD ABOVE US.WATCHING US AND CARING FOR US.
Damn shit useless poeple!If you want money why you didn't do and work?why you want to robbed my?You thought i'm very rich?How can we live in this kind of place?How can we have fith that "MALAYSIA BOLEH'?Why other's countries can be so peaceful?Are we sure that this is a good place for our next generation?Can we let our children to stay in such a place?For the sake of my children and my family i will try my very best to bring my family to a better place by studying hard and working hard.

I'm Losing......

2008-04-28T12:02:00.000+08:00

I think i'm losing the fight,as time passess by i'm losing energy and the intention to fight in my "battle" anymore.Today i keep asking myself it is bacause sth is bothering my and distract my attention?It is because my enemy is too strong?Is it because i'm use and comform to it?I don't want to be like that i feel like i'm like a walking corpse and i don't want to be so.I wanted to regain my strenght and my confidence and my intentions and my thought.I don't want to regret later after i graduate,i hope that i still can fixed back the hole that i did.I don't want to regret when i'm old.I don't want to.Let this be the promise to myself:

1.stop wasting time
2.Regain your will to fight
3.try my very best to win the battle no matter what price i have to pay
4.do it for the sake of my parents
5.remember that your parent is your motivation
6.it's good to fight and feel tired for your own future

*p/s:i will be what i used to be during my secondary time and i will regain what i had in the
old days

Finally

2008-04-11T14:24:00.000+08:00

Finally this semester will be ending soon after all assignments and presentations and lectures and tutorials.I really don't know what had happened this semester but everything shall be shown in the final results.
I have excellent lecturers and wonderful experience,i must remember something that i must improve my grammar and make less grammatical errors. The thing that I shall keep in mind is read more english books and mustn't make any mistake from now on.

i hate it

2008-04-11T14:20:00.000+08:00

Two more hours i will be finishing my year one semester two.The critical thinking presentation really offended my feelings ,i don't mind if they wanted to discuss about religous but the whole discussion was just going round in a circle.They should discuss aboiut something more concrete.

The wonderful things in the world

2008-04-05T15:28:00.000+08:00

Thunder and lighting,time and miracle
Passes by without you realizing it,
love and passion always by your side
It will keep miracle for you
You are the one that i love
hope you will be surrounded by miracle and love
Health and wealth ,danger and peace
they will accur no matter where you are
health and peace will always be with you
as long as you remember HIM
HE is the god,HE is the creater
HE is mighty and he is good
Pray, people,pray
So that you will being bless by the lord
And HE shall give you health and peace
I pray and pray
Hope that YOU listen to my prayer
Please give the nation peace
Please give my family Health and peace
And may YOU include me in your blessing

Lucky me

2008-04-05T15:18:00.000+08:00

It's almost the end of the semester as a sum up of this semester, i feel very lucky because i had met a few excellent lecturers.They always guide me whenever i have problems,but i think the most important thing is you must be honest to them.For example , i told my Lit's lecturer that this is the first time i get in touch with literature and i don't know anything about literature.As a result,she was quite good to me,she guided me when i was doing my assignment and she has also been quite patience with me and explain to me the things that i don't understand.Although there was one lecturer who doesn't know how to teach,but i won't blame her even i was quite angry with her.As we all know that good academic result depends on how much you revised but not how well is the teaching skill of the lecturer.

Stranger VS friend

2008-04-05T02:05:00.000+08:00

Why he doesn't look familiar to me anymore?Why he changes so much while i still remain the same person by being who i am?Why the person that i used to loved and shared my feelings with has become someone else?It is a sin by remaining who you are?Once we were so closed to each other but now we are so far to each other.It is because time does make things change? I want to go back the way it should be where we are very closed to each other and share our thoughts and life with each other.

The university life

2008-04-04T14:53:00.000+08:00

When i was in secondary school i was very curios abou the life in universuty,i keep on dreaming that the campus will be very huge and you might get lost in it and you can do whatever you want because nobody will control you.It's almost the end of year one semester two,and the only word that i can used to describe this semester is tiring and busy.i think that this semester was the best semester and the most tiring semester i ever had.Today there was a Japan exhibition in our campus,it was very fun and it's quite a new experiance for me because i have a chance to try their traditional coutumes.

My "life"

2008-04-01T13:14:00.000+08:00

I'm an undergraduate student now currently taking English Language Course in UTAR Malaysia.